my brothers get on my last nerves!!

but it doesnt mean that i hate them, like all of my friends do. they are and always will be my brothers, and i have to love them and care for them in some way. so i do get a little offended when my friends talk about how much they hate my brothers and how annoying they are because they are my kin. they love me no matter what, and i love them as well. no matter how weird, or unpopular, or annoying they are i will always be here for them.

shit happens everyday. and i just brush it off my shoulder, but keep it in the back of my mind. and after a while, i have a collection of hurt inside me, that ive kept bottled up and then some little, not even important thing happens, that just so happens to be enough to make me crack, and i just start to cry. and then i get lectured about being so immature and careless when you have NO IDEA what the real reason im so upset is. WHATEVER. its not like you even care.

i have great parents. although here lately, they havent seemed to great. making me pay for EVERYTHING just because i have a job. um hello i get paid minimum wage and only work like three days a week. you do the math, thats definately not enough to get me what is needed. i have to pay for my school fees. $90. i have to pay for my new phone. $100. i have to pay for any food or gas i need. around $30 a week. and im supposed to do this off of a $120 pay check i get every two weeks? yeahhh thats not gonna happen. but whatever. <3 my parents to death either way.

i dont have a crush, i have a boyfriend and his name is Joshua Wesley Addison :) he is the most important thing to me and i couldnt live without him. we’ve been dating for a little over 14 months. thats a long time right? :) i love him with everything in me and i know he feels the same. he is my best friend, and my soulmate. im so blessed to have found him <3

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

these are my best friends, and i love them with ALL of my heart.i dont know what i would do without these people!! i love you natalie, tiffany, josh, and grecia :))

i would appreciate it if you would stop breaking so easily. you’ve really got me weak and upset at the moment. i want you to toughen up because you’ve got a long road ahead of you..

p.s. im sorry for your having to continually go through this pain.. 

WOOWWWWW did i jinx myself with that last post! god WHY does this always happen to me?? please someone explain that to me. i try my hardest to be the perfect girlfriend. i was soo happy that i was going to go out to dinner with you and enjoy some quality time with you. but no, you have to get all pissy and crap and then stay on your phone the WHOLE TIME. and what hurts is you didnt even look at me but like, twice, and that was when i asked you a question. you say you love me sooo much but your real good at proving it… its hard to believe when you do things like this.. i just, UGH. i dont even know what to say. i guess i just wish you knew what it felt like to be completely ignored like you did to me, and to feel SO UNLOVED from it. but whatever this is just another thing im gonna end up keeping bottled up and then one day, im going to just break down from it all, just.like.last.time.

life is going in a good direction. everything is calm and collected. i love this life god has blessed me with, and all the AMAZING people he put in it :) a big thanks to everyone who has ever been there for me when i needed it. i love you all

its like when things start going what seems like perfect, something, so small and pointless, makes things go down hill.. i try to be the best i can be, FOR YOU. but its like everything i do is the wrong thing to do. and you tend to make me feel like shit for it. and you expect me to be happy 24/7, when your not even happy half the time. do you not realize, that YOU ARE MY LIFE? that your mood determines my mood? that if your pissy or sad, that im going to be pissy or sad. if your not happy, then im not happy.i hate these fights and how i feel like everything i do, or what i want to do is bad. like hanging out with my friends instead of you. or getting mad at me because someone you dont like texts me. how the hell is that my fault?? how am i supposed to control what people do??? I.JUST.DONT.UNDERSTAND. as i type this, you are hurting me more and more. WHY WONT YOU JUST QUITTTTTTT ugghhhhh. im sorry im not perfect. im sorry you dont like the people i talk to. im sorry that im not always happy. IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.